Happy Holy week everyone! I hope this past week has been an amazing journey of self-reflection and blessing. I know it has been for me. At least it has once I actually let myself stand in God’s presence, something I’ve been slightly avoidant of lately.
Last night at my beloved Axiom Church we held our Good Friday service and I was scheduled to run media, which meant I couldn’t avoid, but had to be there. Per usual the service was excellent and moving. It was a time filled with prayer.
When I returned home I sought God in my tea ritual. Busted out my prized Banten Honey Oolong from Tealet and laid my heart bare to Jesus. He told me something so profound that I just had to share it. Like the verse in Matthew: “What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.”
We sang a popular worship song that has this verse:
Behold the Man upon a cross / my sin upon His shoulders / ashamed I hear my mocking voice / call out among the scoffers / it was my sin that held Him there / until it was accomplished / His dying breath has brought me life / I know that it is finished.
I’m a perfectionist at heart, an approval seeker to the point of idolatry. Because of this skew to my worldview I take on a lot of guilt and shame, especially where Jesus is concerned. It makes me get Him backward sometimes, and last night God showed me that in a big way with this song.
His death has always been a source of guilt and shame for me. He died because I wasn’t better, or good enough. His death taught me I needed to try harder, to do better, atone for my sin that held him there. But last night Jesus laughed and called me silly. He was so amused that I thought that there was anything I could do, that I had any power at all, to keep the incarnate Son of the Living God on a cross. Silly mortal.
There is absolutely NOTHING within my power that I could do to keep Jesus on that cross. It was NOT my sin that held Him there. His LOVE for me made Him choose to stay up there. *MIND BLOWN* What a different spin this puts on the crucifixion for me!! He didn’t die because I wasn’t good enough. He died because at my very worst, He says I am still inherently valuable, loved, worth it. And that on Good Friday of all days that I should fully comprehend that I am beloved.
Now that is a Jesus Truth that I want to build my house on!
Have a blessed Easter friends! You are beloved.